Depression and Trauma: Recognizing the Importance of Self-care (+5 Tips)

I haven’t always understood the importance of self-care. After suffering trauma, every day was more like surviving than thriving and self-care became nonexistent. I loathed myself and didn’t take care of myself very well for decades. But after uncovering my repressed trauma, I began to recognize the importance of self-care, and, now after giving birth, I find the need to recognize it once again. 

Having a newborn makes it easy to neglect self-care. For every moment of every day is composed of taking care of the baby. There’s no time for self-care. But I’m learning that I have to make time. Not only for my sanity, but to teach my daughter the importance of practicing self-care too. 

When I practice self-care for her, I tell her that that’s what it is. When I give her a bath. Or I wash her hair. When I file her nails. Or rub coconut oil on her skin. And it was through recognizing this with her that I realized my own self-care had gotten lost again. And I needed to work to get it back. 

Self-care is necessary for each of us to function well. It is what helps us remember who we are. It is what gives us the reprieve we need from daily life to gather our thoughts and to reflect. It is the break necessary to have the fuel to move forward. And it is something only we can make time for. 

After recognizing my need for self-care again, I now make sure I at least get a shower every day. But it’s more than that. It’s doing things that bring me joy. Like going on trail walks, taking long baths or getting my hair done. And now I plan a time with my husband for me to be able to do those things. Because it’s important. Because I’m important. And because I need to be able to do those things in order to be at my best. Not just for my daughter but for myself. 

So if you are like me and you find yourself needing to practice more self-care, here are some tips for doing so:

1. Schedule time to practice self-care. Whether it’s 10 minutes or two hours, make sure you find the time. 
2. Plan ahead and decide what you’ll do. Last-minute self-care is great, but by planning ahead, you can think of what you really want to do and do it. 
3. Take time to reflect. As you practice self-care, take time to reflect on yourself and your life. Evaluate. Think. And observe. 
4. Make sure you do something every week. It doesn’t have to be something big. It could mean getting a coffee and going for a nature walk. Whatever you do, make sure you do it at least once a week.
5. Enlist loved ones to help. Communicate with loved ones what your needs for self-care are and discuss how they can best support you. 

However you practice self-care, make sure you do it often. And remember, only you can prioritize it, which you should because you deserve it. We all do. It is essential for our mental health. 

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Photo by Toa Heftiba