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Articles
Fear and Trauma: Noticing Signs of PTSD After Another Mass Shooting and 12 Tips to Help
This month’s blog is dedicated to the victims of the recent splash pad shooting in Rochester Hills, Michigan. May you heal swiftly and have the resources you need to fully recover and to feel safe. *** In the wake of yet another mass shooting, my PTSD is back in full swing. The shooting happened only miles from my house. And my mind and body have not been settled ever since. When I first heard the news, I cried. Because of the victims. The sadness. The heaviness. The evil. Then I cried the next day. And the one after that. It brought back memories of my own trauma, and I began having nightmares of men trying to kill me. And my fear was ever present once again. It took me a few days to realize what was happening. I felt scattered. Erratic. Unsettled. I couldn’t close my eyes without envisioning it. I either overslept or couldn’t sleep at all. Every noise had me startled. Every change in pattern had me on edge. Even sitting outside with my daughter early in the morning, I found myself scoping out corners. Jumping at the slightest sound. Ready to fight or flee. At night, I checked the locks on the doors multiple times. Reviewed my escape plan in my head. Thinking of what I’d do if someone broke into my house. What I would do if someone was after us. How I would get my baby, my husband and myself to safety. My stomach was in knots. I was bloated. Had no appetite. Overate from stress and felt sick. I even once awoke ready to throw up because I’d been gagging in my sleep. Days later, I tried to take my daughter to the park with my husband, but I had to turn around and [...]
CPTSD, Fight-or-flight Response, PTSD and Trauma: Practicing Meditation to Reconnect to Yourself (+8 Tips)
I’ve been practicing meditation for close to 20 years. A practice that has changed my life. A practice that I call a practice because that’s what you have to do. You have to practice. Every day. It’s a commitment. But one that I’ve happily made. Because nothing helps me connect back to myself as much as meditation. I started meditating when I was about 25 and living in LA. I was overwhelmed every day. Overstimulated. Depressed. Dissociating. I had PTSD and was living in a fight-or-flight response but didn’t know it. Every day was a struggle. To breathe. To exist. Then one day while I was out wandering the busy streets, someone handed me a book on yoga. And by reading it, I learned about meditation. The breathing. The stillness. The nothingness. Immediately, I was determined to learn how to do it. Every day, I sat on a pillow in a corner of my apartment bedroom (that I assumed faced east), I closed my eyes, and I tried to breathe. But the mere focus on my breath almost made my breathing worse. And my mind would race so much I would cry. But I stuck with it. Every day, I would try something new. A new position. A new mantra. Then finally, I added music, which seemed to help me the most. It quieted my mind. Then I realized that if I meditated at the same time every day, it helped even more, and before I knew it, I had a meditation practice that was actually making me feel calm for the first time in longer than I could remember. A practice I was able to maintain for almost 20 years. Meditation helps me on days when I cannot stop crying. When I feel erratic. Disconnected. On days when my [...]
CPTSD, PTSD and Trauma: Nows the Time to Understand Intergenerational Trauma
Intergenerational trauma refers to trauma that has been carried from one generation to another. The trauma rides along our genes like an anxious passenger. Wanting truths to be told. Wrongs to be righted. Justice to be served. Its a heavy load for each new generation to bear. For when you survive with your ancestors trauma inside of you, theres no escaping it. Intergenerational trauma doesn’t always show itself doesnt always make itself clearly known but its there. Waiting to be acknowledged...
Trauma, Empathy and Mindfulness: Creating and Holding Space and Boundaries
After suffering extreme loss of myself, Im learning to let go of the pain. To move all the pain and trauma out of my body to create space for love and joy. For regardless of what happened or what happens, life moves on. And its up to me how I live it. During this process, Im also learning how to create space for another. Because when it comes to someone else’s suffering, to someone else’s pain, it is sometimes more difficult to let go...
OCD, PTSD, SPD and COVID: Masks, Panic Attacks and a Trip to Target
Right before COVID hit, I was just starting to break free from the stiff hold my rules have had on me for decades. The rules Id set in place to help myself survive were slowly lessening. Melting away as I learned to let go. And everyday things like going to the store started feeling easier. Less panic-inducing. But now that COVID outbreaks are the reality, my need to control my environment is back in full swing. Causing me to risk having a panic attack every time I leave the house...
CPTSD, PTSD, OCD and Intergenerational Trauma: The Danger of Controlling and the Joy of Letting Go
Learning to practice mindfulness has helped me understand what it means to let something go. Growing up with a whole host of issues, it was something that was said to me often: Just let it go. As if it was easy. But I couldnt. Because I didnt even know what I was supposed to be letting go of....
CPTSD, PTSD and Intergenerational Trauma: We Are in This Together (And 8 Tips for Healing)
It’s been a tough few weeks, and I was at a loss for what to write about because I have been too depressed to feel creative. But then as I caught up on emails, I noticed how important it is for those of us suffering to know that others share our struggles. ...
CPTSD, PTSD and Intergenerational Trauma: Living In a Fight-or-flight Response and 9 Steps to Getting Out
When you suffer CPTSD or PTSD long enough, you become wired for trauma, making even the slightest upset a potential trigger. Sending you into a tailspin. A downward spiral. A fight-or-flight response...
CPTSD, PTSD and Intergenerational Trauma: How the Pandemic Became the Predator
I knew the pandemic was triggering for me. Bringing back old compulsions. Familiar fears. Making me feel stuck. Anxious. Ready to fight, flee or freeze. But I didnt quite understand why until speaking with my psychotherapist and learning that it is precisely my fear response that has ...
Pain, Trauma and Healing: 5 Steps for Creating a Self-care Routine to Regulate Your Nervous System
I had the joy of corresponding with someone new this week. He emailed me via my website and we discussed pain. Real pain. Reaches-into-your-core-and-lays-everything-out-on-the-table kind of pain...
Pain, Trauma and Healing: 5 Steps for Creating a Self-care Routine to Regulate Your Nervous System
I had the joy of corresponding with someone new this week. He emailed me via my website and we discussed pain. Real pain. Reaches-into-your-core-and-lays-everything-out-on-the-table kind of pain....
Anxiety, Depression and COVID-19: Nows the Time to Feel Our Feelings Heres 8 Ways How to
We are in an anxious time. We are worried. Fearful. And ill at ease. Things are changing. Our schedules and routines. The ways we engage with others. And things are staying the same. The exact same. Day after day....
Neurodiversity and Fight-or-flight Response: How Occupational Therapy Saved My Life by Teaching Me to Regulate My Nervous System and the 16 Things I’ve Learned
This weeks blog is dedicated to my occupational therapist words cannot express my gratitude for guiding me through my pain and for helping me learn to regulate my nervous system; our work has changed my life and to a special young man I had the pleasure of meeting this week may you begin to see your true self, work to forgive yourself and learn to love yourself; I hope you feel better very soon...
“Very well written article. I am particularly aware of the marital conflict that are arising from the stress of the situation. Partners are attacking each other because the virus is so nebulous and there is an uncomfortable sense of how out of control we are.”
MARLENE KASMAN – PhD