PTSD and Trauma: The Magic of Setting (and Achieving) Goals (+10 Tips)
July 31, 2024
As a new mom, I’m finding it difficult to set and keep goals. Finding the time (and the mental capacity) to even think about my goals has been hard since having a baby, and when I have goals, meeting them gets tricky. But with only a few more weeks left of my maternity leave, I know I have to get better at setting and achieving my goals.
During the 23 years I was lost in the darkness due to my repressed trauma (click here for more details), I wasn’t setting goals. I was living a very reactionary lifestyle. Always making decisions in the moment and never planning ahead. This caused me a great deal of anguish both mentally and financially. And it caused me to never feel a true sense of accomplishment.
One of the things I’ve learned during my trauma recovery is how important having goals is. Not only does setting goals help you to focus on one thing at a time, allowing you to be more present, but setting goals also helps you to feel proud of yourself. Something we could all use a little more of.
During my trauma recovery, my goals were small but significant: get out of bed every day, take a shower and get dressed, go outside. And once I mastered these, they kept getting bigger. Which is the magical aspect of setting goals: they can always get bigger. And once you learn how you best set and accomplish goals, you can achieve anything you set your mind to.
So here are some tips for setting and achieving goals:
- Set big goals. Dream big. Do what you’ve always wanted to do. Seriously. Why not. Once you realize no one can make it happen, but you, you are the only thing standing in your way. Or not. Once you set big goals, the key to achieving them is to break them up into smaller goals.
- Set goals in yearly increments. Maybe you have one-year, five-year and ten-year goals. Maybe you have goals for each year. Maybe for every five years. However you break up your goals, make sure you stay focused and only set goals for things you can realistically achieve.
- Set goals each month. Once you have your big goals, you can set your monthly goals, then you can break them up by week. Again, it’s easier to accomplish big things if you break it down into more manageable steps.
- Write them down. One of the things I’ve learned over the years is that writing down your goals is important. It doesn’t have to be in a fancy planner. You can use paper, a white board, a calendar, your phone, etc. You could also get creative if you wish and draw pictures or even create a vision board.
- Write down steps for achieving your goals. It’s one thing to have goals, but it will be difficult to accomplish them without identifying manageable steps.
- Determine a timeline. Once you have the steps, determine a timeline for following them. When will you fit your goals into your week, your day, etc?
- Reflect each week on the goals you’ve worked on. Then, reflect each month on what you’ve accomplished.
- Keep in mind that your goals may change and that’s okay! One of the best ways to accomplish goals is to only keep the ones that make sense for you. Think of a time you tried to accomplish something you no longer wanted to do and how hard it was to achieve. Don’t do that to yourself. Ain’t no one got time for that. Especially you.
- Reward yourself for meeting goals. Rewards are important as they acknowledge the goal has been met. Without acknowledging the goal (and a little celebration), you may feel unfulfilled even if you’ve accomplished it.
- However you set your goals, make sure they are manageable and make it an enjoyable process. Sit down alone once a month to work on them. Grab a coffee. Light a candle. Allow yourself to feel joyful doing it.
Whatever your goals may be, I wish you the best of luck in both setting and achieving them!
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Photo by Markus Winkler