In setting my goals for the new year, I realized that one of the things that stops me from thriving is my confidence. Or lack of. It’s like I can do the things I’ve always done (which at some point I had to have confidence in order to do), but when it comes to trying something new, I freeze. I get depressed. I doubt myself and my abilities. When instead I need to just dive right in. Trust the process. And trust myself.
Learning to trust myself hasn’t been easy. After my repressed trauma surfaced, I’d questioned if I could trust myself at all. For I’d kept a secret from myself for over 23 years. Which could really mean I’m trustworthy, actually.
But yet, I continue to doubt myself. Childhood trauma will do that to you, though. When trauma happens during your childhood, it molds you in a way that’s out of your control. You became who you were because of having suffered trauma. Because of having to survive. But I was once myself without my trauma clouding me, and I’ve had to find my way back to being myself once again. To being confident. And I’m learning confidence begins with setting goals.
Doing something I told myself I would do makes me feel good about myself. Starting with self-care goals. Like getting out of bed every day, bathing, eating healthy foods, drinking water and exercising. For me, this also means writing, walking and practicing yoga. Whatever it is you need to do to practice self-care, make it a goal. Write it down as a list. And check it off as you go.
After you’ve met your self-care goals, set goals to achieve even more—aim for your dreams. Break down your goals to one small thing at a time, write them down and do something every day to accomplish them. Also, take some time to reflect at the end of every month to see how you’ve met your goals and how much you’ve accomplished. Building your confidence one victory at a time.
Setting New Goals
In order to set new goals, take some time to write and reflect:
- What are you already successful at doing?
- What do you accomplish every day? Not just for work, but for self-care too.
- What is it you want to do that you aren’t doing?
- What keeps standing in your way? Why is it standing in your way? What can you do to get it out of your way?
- What new goals can you set for yourself?
If you’re thriving, reflect on what has brought you so much success—the things you’ve done to get you where you’re at. Set new goals. And repeat.
No matter where your path begins, set goals for yourself, meet them and watch your confidence grow.
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